What is a Yuri pairing?
by Roxius
Summary: Zatch has some problems understanding homosexuality. TiaXPatty. hinted ZofisXKoko and slight KiyoXMegumi. Some Zatch bashing.
1. Homosexuality

Zatch was very confused. Earlier today, he saw Tia and Patty beating the crud out of each other. They were screaming things like "Zatch is mine!" or "I loved him first, you ugly freak!". Zatch was terrified, so he ran away and hid under the couch for a while. Later that same day, he saw Tia and Patty holding hands and kissing. _ON THE LIPS. _Zatch didn't understand it. 'If they hate each other, then why are they kissing?' he thought. Zatch decided to ask Kiyo about it. "Well," Kiyo said, "Sometimes, a girl might actually fall in love with another girl instead of a boy. The same thing could happen with boys also." Zatch still didn't get it, so he asked Kanchome and Folgore. "I THINK THEY'RE GAY!" Kanchome said, but Folgore kicked him and replied, "People can love in different ways, Zatch. I actually think it's kinda cute…" Zatch, of course, didn't listen to Kanchome or Folgore, so he decided to ask Zeno and Zofis. Why did he decide to ask his mortal enemies? Zatch was like that sometimes. "Go away before I kill you!" Zeno said. "Well, take me and Koko for example. I'm also a girl but we're lovers, you see?" Zofis said. Zatch was still too stupid to understand, so he went directly to the source of his confusion: Patty and Tia! "WHY DO YOU TWO FIGHT IN THE DAY BUT KISS AT NIGHT?" Zatch cried. "Well...because we love each other, Zatch." Tia said. "Tia is my girlfriend now, so stop chasing me!" Patty replied.'WHO'S CHASING YOU?' Zatch thought angrily as the two girls skipped off, hand in hand. "Well, at least I understand homosexuality now!"


	2. Couples

Now that Zatch understood homosexuality, he wanted to know how these girls became a couple. So, he first asked Zofis how she and Koko became a couple. "Well, we met up, I raped her, and we fell in love!" Zofis replied. Zatch was mortified. Zatch sighed and decided to speak with Tia and Patty again. "How did we fall in love?" asked Tia, "Well…when we were fighting over you, we realized how stupid it was to fight over an idiot like you! Then, when we looked into each other's eyes, we fell in love. Right, Patty?" Tia gave Patty a quick kiss as Patty said, "Yeah, that's why!" Tia and Patty skipped off, hand in hand. 'SO THEY THINK I'M STUPID, EH? WELL, I'LL SHOW THEM!'


	3. Big Guns will solve my problems!

The next day, Zatch had come up with the perfect plan to destroy Tia and Patty's relationship. "I'M GONNA SHOOT 'EM WITH A BIG GUN!" Zatch shouted with glee. "Whatever…" Kiyo replied. "Meru-Meru-Me!" Ponygon cried. "SHUT UP!' Zatch pulled out his big gun and blasted Ponygon and the front of Kiyo's house to smithereens. "Whatever…" Kiyo replied as Zatch ran off to put his plan into action.

Tia and Patty were blissfully unaware of the evil and slightly pathetic Zatch Bell that was spying on them. Zatch giggled and said, "Soon, this stupid bags will die!" Tia smiled at Patty and said, "I love you, Patty…" Patty smiled and kissed Tia on the lips. Zatch thought about maybe he shouldn't kill them, but he quickly stopped thinking and shouted, "GGGGGGGGYYYYYYAAAAAAAAA!" Zatch leapt out of the bush he was hiding in and pulled out his big gun. "DDDDDDDIIIEEEEEE!" Zatch screamed as he rapidly fired huge exploding balls of energy at the park. Once the gun ran out of shots, Zatch tossed it away and it hit an old lady in the head. "Now, now! You are all finally DEAD!" Zatch laughed triumphantly, until he noticed Tia and Patty walk out of the ice cream store across the street. "DAMN! THEN…who did I hit?" Zatch walked over to the large crater that was once a park and he found Gofure pooping. "Aw, well…It's time to do what I should've done before! UNLEASH MAJIN BOO!"


	4. MAJIN BOO IS DEVOURED!

Zatch stole Goku's Air Jet thingy and flew to Babidi's hideout. There, out in public, was Majin Boo reading a 'Black Cat' graphic novel. "Yo, Boo! Wanna help me kill off some old friends of mine?" Zatch asked eagerly. Boo looked at him and said, "Zatch Bell, what would you achieve out of killing your friends Tia and Patty? Would it bring world peace? End World Hunger? Help stupid kids get Ds instead of Fs? I think not! You should be happy that your two friends have found love, despite the fact that they have found love in one another." Zatch gave him a skeptical look and replied, "I'll give you this candy bar that's been in my underwear for five days if you help me!" "Sure, okay." "YES!"

Back at wherever Kiyo and Zatch live, Tia was asking Kanchome (bad choice) what she should get Patty for Valentine's Day. "All right, Boo! KILL THEM!" Zatch screamed like a child in a misshapen outfit. Majin Boo ran like a retard straight at Tia, but instead Kanchome suddenly devoured him. "HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT!" Zatch screamed. Kanchome burped and said, "DAT WAS GOOD, BRUDDAH!" Tia ran away screaming. 'Now what do I do…' Zatch thought hopelessly. Suddenly, he came up with something so amazing, that it might actually not do anything at all. 'Yup! That's my plan! I will not do anything at all!' Zatch was happy that he made a good decision. However, It was not to be, as Zatch soon began to have sudden urges to hurt or beat something. "NO! I MUST END THEIR HAPPINESS FOR I AM…ELITE!" Eshros walked in out of nowhere and said, "That's my line!" Zatch's body was shaking with anger. Kiyo Takamine and Megumi suddenly entered the room, both of them making love while standing up. Zatch jumped through the window and ran away to the only person that understood him. It was Mr. Jiggles! However, Majin Boo was also Mr. Jiggles, so Zatch gave up on that idea.


	5. Zatch Dies

The next day, Zatch went to Patty's house and asked if he could talk to her. "What is it you wanted to talk about, Zatch?" Patty asked. Zatch noticed a picture of Tia and Patty kissing, and he cringed. "Zatch?" Zatch snapped out of it and replied, "Well, I wanted to know if you told me what a typical day of being with Tia is like…" Patty thought for a moment, and then said, "Zatch, the truth is that you can't accept the fact that me and Tia love each other!" 'HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW THAT!' "I want you to like me and Tia for what we are, your friends! I don't care if I'm gay, I LOVE TIA!" Patty shouted so much that Zatch nearly lost his hearing. Zatch sighed. "Fine, I'll still be friends with you two!" "YEAH!" Patty clapped her hands and begun to drink her tea. Little did she know that Zatch put poison in it. Suddenly, Patty fell to the ground, but she got up a second later. "Sorry, I trip when sit sometimes!" Patty said sheepishly. Zatch looked at his cup and saw that he put the poison in the wrong- Zatch went to Mamodo Heaven and was strangled to Hell by Zeno and Aunt Jamima. Suddenly, Zatch Bell woke up and saw that he was just having a bad dream. Majin Boo walked in and said, "You THINK it's a dream, don'tcha?" "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!"

THE END


End file.
